the happy wanderer

Functioning off of the temporary energy of coffee..

Mentally tired.. but not by too much. I don’t necessarily study that hard… I’m actually studying now. Before, it was just a front.. Of course, the level I’m at now is actually probably the norm for kids here.

Emotionally wavering… trying to be joyful in most circumstances. but even that’s starting to wear off. And as if I’ve been on an artificial high.. I feel like I’m going to crash soon… but no, I have to keep myself from falling.. Smile. Smile… Smile. Trying to keep others from crashing.. others from falling.. from unnecessarily stressing themselves out.. I lost track of myself slippin’.. (Keyword: emotional. Not spiritual.) ENFJ’s.. wait no.. that’s not entirely correct. I’m making myself sound like some overly self-less compassionate person lol 

[Passing over Lexington Ave. 57th St. .. it was a normal Saturday afternoon... where were all the pedstrians?]

Missing mommy more and more.. obba too. And abba.. 

but– the assurance of always being watched over, being guided…

[i still don't know how to post a picture upright..]

Outkast days were good days. “Sorry Ms. Jackson~~ WOOOO~ I am fo’ real! Never meant to make your daughter cry, I apologize a million(?) times…”

anyway. Polaroids. I’ve always wanted one for THE longest time. In middle school I wanted the pink barbie style one, cause.. it’s Barbie! HAWT. but yea, I still want one. sighhh.. maybe this Christmas.. or next birthday ehehehe.. i envy people who have polaroid collages.. they’re more memorable than just regular pictures. They’re like.. idk.. more authentic…reminiscent, priceless…Hm yea, I think I’m going to save up to buy a polaroid camera.. as well as Uggs.. finally. I shall sell out and soon enough, i’ll sell out to Rainbows as well. heheh

twas a good day. Cal game.. Cal band <3, a bit of studying.. random chit chats at FSM with unexpected acquaintances~ ahhh.. and yummy Golden Puffs (basically equivalent of Korean snack called Jolly Pong or the American cereal, Honey Smacks.. btw, where the heck did that green frog go! That was one of my favorite cereals…   )

Irvine’s got Kaba Modern. UCLA’s got>> Samahang Modern… i love this performance of theirs.. sooo awesome.

and watching hip hop.. and i’ve been listening to more hip hop also lately… makes me go back to my nyc days.. when i was into sneakers.. or sorry, kicks. I guess in addition to my Uggs & Rainbows.. I shall also aim for a pair of Dunks

limiting and holding back. Feeling restrained, and yet in the end, feeling good about it. Like I’m getting some self-control… or more than previously. I’m learnin~

Momma’s such a trooper for real. How she manages that wholesale store of hers in the big monstrous competitive building in the heart of downtown Atlanta, I do not know. She’s a really sharp business woman. No business education needed. No college education necessary. She’s got the street smarts. “Compassion for people, Passion for Christ.” She’s got the wits, the charm, the determination, the diligence.. the faith, the patience, the love.

I love umma. Soon I shall be reunited with superwoman!! gahhhhh.. and superbrother! and super family of mother’s in Koreaaaaa good times to come~

time time time. Fast forward to the good parts please! No, wait slow down… I need to absorb. But oh! the hard parts, can we skip?– Womp womp womppp, not up to me. I shall sit back, relax, and just deal Enjoy the good when it comes… sooner or later. Endure the bad, as it seems to always be around ready to pounce. Learn from the difficult. It’s significant. Be on guard! Be cheelin though. cause in the end everything is okay. if it’s no okay, it’s not the end

At ease boys.. and gals.

… slowly… steadily… carefully… healthily… approach.

…dearly… strongly… happily… selflessly… hold on.

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so many abstract entries… my mind’s a floatin’ way up high

Taming the Tongue
Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways.
… the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts… The tongue is also a fire a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.

Two kinds of Wisdom
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth…. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

___________________________
It’s so freaking hard. To do this. and that. and all the other things. To be what is written. Transformation of the heart, which will thus show through our actions and thoughts and behavior is what should follow after awareness and acceptance of the Truth. And yet, here I am… wandering around, finding excuses to do otherwise. Here I am, still with a tainted heart, not wholly devoted. Clean hands. Pure hearts. Wisdom that comes from heaven. I yearn for this God. We desire You to be in Us. We desire to remain in You. Truly… What selfishly started out as a way to feel better about myself has rightfully become what you have called it to be. … Or has it? Am I still so selfish and of the wrong heart? Change me completely from within….

nevertheless

bap! or bab! or sometimes “bob” like in bibimBOB.
anyhowdy. Just cooked some rice for the first time in… weeks. GAH Janice and I’ve been spending way too much money eating out. and now I need a break from Chipotle, Bear’s Ramen, Sufficient Grounds, and Indian food.

mmm… nice, hot, sticky nourishing BABB~ good with just kim… or kimchee.. or in a bowl of water!

>>Anyway, here’s the fast track to what I want to get at:
Bahp fills us up when we’re hungry.
God fills us up when we’re empty. (=
It’s good to be empty and without anything… it increases the chances (too much probability talk in Stat) of our yearning for God to complete us. To fill the void.

We are one jacked up group of beings. For real~
I can be so messed up sometimes… and then I dwell in the flaws that make me up. and it does me no good in terms of how I feel and act, except to help me realize, Wow I am nothing, I am twisted, I am empty. And I guess that’s all that’s necessary

What a lovely Saturday morning/afternoon. Fall has come.
I <3 autumn. a time of changes… it might seem like things are withering away and losing their vibrant spring-like liveliness… But it’s such a cheeeel time. (in both meanings of the word) Time of reflection~ ahhhhhhh. Happy Norcal autumn~

Coffee
i hated it last year. but it seems i’ve officially become a college student. I drink it quite often now. … shoot.

So basically, we shall boast even more willingly about our weaknesses so that Christ’s power may rest on us. For Him, we’ll delight in our weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. Por que? Cause when we’re down and out, when we’re weak.. Then are we truly strong.

Chill folks. It’s all good. It has been and will be~ (:

toodle-loo <3 got stuff to do~