wait what? am i overbearing? suffocating? do i really go overboard with relationships and how i act or what i say?

apparently somewhat… according to the personality test site or whatever, as an ENFJ, im all of the above and more.. that’s more of the negative aspects.. there were lots of good stuff too. like wanting to make others happy… and becoming happy off that. which i think is true.. but sometimes i care too much about others being a good mood that im not aware of how bad i might feel or whatever.

and i experienced all this tonight.
ormaybe after reading all the traits of an ENFJ, im just more aware… and self-concious. (like i wasn’t enough alread!! gahhh)

today was pastor eugene’s last ficb sermon. or… just lecture i guess. it was very interesting.. and i wish i coudl store all the wise things he said.. i tried hard.. but now that i try hard to recall those things.. i can’t seem to remember! Tis pretty sad… he’s so full of excess knowledge. academic knowledge seems to be a given with him since he graduated with civil engineering major at berkeley.. but yea.. film knowledge… literature.. world news.. environmental issues… relationships…and ofcourse all of this tied with God’s word. Pretty amazing.

He reminds me of my dad. My dad was seirously the wisest person I knew. and although i admit i’m being biased.. even if he weren’t my dad and i knew of all the knowledge he posessed and shared, i’d say he was a pretty darn wise man. wisdom is so precious and something i wish i had more of.

one thing that stuck in my head from p.eug’s sermon .. or lecture (a good lecture!)
“Bad things happen fast. So that implies that all good things take time.” Especially with relationships. And this i believe soo strongly.

I want to care less about what others think. I want to care less about impressing others. I want to care more about glorifying God.. about being fitting in his eyes. If I sought after God more, none of the petty things I get upset about would matter.

“What are your plans after you graduate?”
What P.Eug reallllyyyyy deeeeeep down wanted to say: ” Oh, I’m gonna follow God.”

wow. tis the best plan ever. and yet so hard to actually take that path..
why?

I was made in His image. I should be happy with who I am.
Jesus suffered so unbelievably much. I should be focused on living for God.
Humility is what I need. Self appreciation is what I also need.