the happy wanderer

I don’t have the time to maintain these regrets, when I think about, the way…

He loves us, whoa! How he loves us.

Without the love of God, we’re just up here making noise, but the love of God changes this and we’re never the same after we encounter the love of God. We’re never the same. You would know if you’ve encountered the love of God, because you wouldn’t be the same.

gah.. ‘you do your thing, and i’ll do mine’.

there are the thinkers, the non-thinkers.. the skeptics.. the credulous… the– the–…

So annoying how ppl package others into ignorant, narrow categories.. just because those others ‘do their own thing’, and these ppl can’t relate/understand.

I’m talking about Christians labeling other Christians and not being able to get over the fact that all of this is ultimately futile.. (a bit off of this past Sunday’s sermon…) ugh.. so self-righteous you are. we are. (and don’t assume that i’m writing this out of being a victim of this … This is simply due to observations from.. over a longg period of time. and random things that triggered these on-going thoughts into words tonight.)

.. and walk in love.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

again, it says to, Praise the LORD.

(I’m so sad that I do not yet know how to flip pictures upright– but I had to post this one. This isn’t from the Sepia effect; it’s all natural Sun babyyy & you can see the rain.)

Nope, nothing particularly extraordinary happened today. But, I had 3 good meals today. (actually the third was a waste of $8. NEVER eat at the chinese fast food restaurant INSIDE of asian ghetto again. MSG layers still line my mouth.) I had a closet full of clothes to choose from. Weather was wonderful; sun shining, no earth quakes, no storms, even a summer rain to romanticize the evening. Family’s safe. No one’s being prosecuted for anything; no bombs bursting in air on this side of the world. No one’s ill. Mom’s exhausted from having to work 7 days this week; but that’s the most of her worries for today. At least she has a business to ‘worry’ about in these tough economic times. The most I have to worry about is trying to focus on studying for an exam; eating healthier; trying to prepare for med school; not completely wasting my Mom’s hard earned out of state fee.

So blessed, I am.

My God is a God who provides…I will bring praise, I will bring praise. No weapon formed against me shall remain. I will rejoice, I will declare: God is my Victory and He is Here.

If only it was every moment that I realized how blessed I am.. how overflowing God’s grace is, and not once in a .. while. Then all the so-called worries would actually be Nothing’s, and all the seemingly ‘trivial’ things would actually mean Everything to me, as they are gifts.

This doesn’t mean that all the things that I worry about aren’t worth worrying over. Certainly, getting into medical school is something worth stressing over. And yet, if God truly wants to use me in this field, then by all means, I will become a doctor– for His glory. And although it’s hard to truly say whether my goals and motives correspond with His plans, I do pray that they are not completely my selfish desires; that the things that I went through during my teen years as well as the type of people God has placed in my life that have influenced this in me are all .. a part of the plan. And because.. only God, my dad, and I know what I said that day.

mom & pops <3

… and just because i like random pictures. (sometimes ordinary > scenic or glamorous shots)

yes…  still some fixing up to do. lol.

but that’s for lataz, when we have the time & monay to decorate

Right now is not the time.. it’s not up to me. It’s all in His time. Time? so precious. So restricting. When you want to savor the moment, it zooms by. When you wish you could just get through this pain-stricken moment, it stands still.

But all in all, it’s steadfast, unchanging and what happens in the intervals designated by the shifting shadows is controlled by God. God who loves me so. He’s already arranged the happenings, and one by one I endure through– enjoy through.. these chapters.

There are moments that others have never experienced, that God has blessed me with. Hard or easy, I’m so thankful, because I’ve learned. and I was loved. There are yet moments that others have experienced and I haven’t… Perhaps I’m never meant to? Perhaps my path just requires these things to come later. Either way, I wait. anticipate? I shan’t be weawry, shan’t worry, shan’t complain, because it’s all from His love for me.

How great and magnificent is He. My love for Him falters, strays, withers, and yet His for me stands strong, holds its warm presence around me. God I’m sorry. God, I thank You. God, I’m constantly sorry and furthermore, at fault, for realizing my mishaps and faults and still, letting them take control.

And yet… Your Love never fails. It’s all in Your time…

Lord, give me the right mindset to wait, patiently.

[this was not a planned entry.. it was just what popped up in my head... wrote it freely without much organization some time ago. ]

Not that I’d benefit in the worldly sense. But Good in YOUR eyes.

Wake up, shower.

Make up, devour.

haha jk. i thought it was cool how my entry could’ve rhymed and sounded lyrical, but anyway. I did wake up, and I did shower. And I did put on my eye-liner. Walked across the intersection to get a toasted, buttered, cinnamon raisin bagel and Black Tea.

QT. then I’m off to class, work, Starbucks to study, and back in the comforts of my little home.

Life is wonderful.

i’m so conflicted. wordly desires.. laziness… unnecessary indulgence, comfort, luxury… i keep wanting it all. and yet at the back of my mind i’m saying.. where did my discipline go? (if i ever had any) where’s my conviction? (if i was ever so convinced) …where’s the obedience?! the Love, the passion?! did i ever truly let any of this consume me? where’s God in my life. lukewarm lukewarm lukewarm. story of my life.

(how do i flip photos for wordpress?)

i love it.

the thundering i used to hate. but now i like. the rain, the greyness (it’s not a depressing grey) the relentless rain~ and then before you know it. it all ceases. and the sun peaks out.. and then it’s clear skies, wet grass, and all of it is so great

Listening to Come Fly With Me by Frank Sinatra while watching the rain pourrrr against my window, is wonderful.

now… off to clean my room…..

I wish I had a car.. doesn’t have to be a nice one. Just to have some freeeedom. If I can’t find someone to give me a ride, I’m stuck at home all day.

I love alone time. I love being home, but not the feeling of being stuck at home lol. Sighh I wanna go to a cafe and read, get some frozen yogurt, go work out at a gym.. listening to my iTunes~

maybe they should make public transportation reach out to Alpharetta.. I’d be down.

I posted this last semester.. but. Everytime I watch it. It makes me soooo…. sighhh It’s gonna be a lovely day~

and just another one. This video’s not as amazing compared to the above one in which he improvises with the Bulgarian lady’s tune~ Genius i say~!

I post this one just because this is one of my favorite songs

I work out to eat Hagen Dazs ice cream and bubble milk tea… I don’t understand how people can NOT eat after they work out. I crave the most unhealthy (unhealthiest?) foods, like chips and ice cream and Trolli’s gummy worms.. yknow all that good stuff. Apples and yogurt just won’t cut it. I used to try this.. and i would last for like an hour before I succumb to the bag of potato chips nearby. So.. I decided to just go straight for the bag of potato chips, or in tonight’s case, the quart-size Haagen-Dazs. “Fail.” NO! not fail. Score!

But… getting work done this spring break? Complete F-A-I-L. I read 30 pages of my novel. and that’s it. that book was supposed to be completed by Sunday.. (actually it should’ve really been read by 4 weeks ago). Sigh. 8 Bio webcasts, mastering physics homework, catching up with all lecture notes and reading since the first physics midterm, Bio pre-lab and Bio “post” lab, and reading 4 short stories for my history class. I had a weird disturbing dream last night. I think it was due to the stress from thinking about how I’m going to get all this done. I usually dont have uncomfortable dreams…. except during finals time. lol. and yet I spent the day laying out on Memorial Glade with ssarahcho (fellow procrastinator<3), shopping at Buffalo Exchange (nothing good in the thrift store today), working out, watching We Got Married (those SNSD girls are everywhere), watching The Office, and yea.. that’s it. And now… alas, I start webcast 1 out of 8.

Gah… i’m screwed.

The other procrastinator and me:

yea…. i know. :O